How do you connect with your heart?

How do you you connect with your heart when you don’t know what your heart wants? Is there a way to differentiate your heart from your mind? Why does it matter what your heart wants? How do you know what your heart needs?

These are all great questions and I’m gonna share some tips today on just those! I’m so glad you are here!

Why Does It Matter To Connect With Your Heart?

Okay, let’s start with the why. Why does it matter to connect with your heart? Simply? Because you matter. Period. The things in your heart are the pure desires of who you are. You want to be loved. You want to feel special. Valued. Chosen. Persued. Seen. You want to know that you belong and that you matter.

The problem is is that every person is wanting the same thing and we are all looking for someone else to tell us we are special. Do you see the problem? If we are all feeling the same thing and looking for another human to fill that need and desire, we’re all going to be left aching and empty.

Can others fill those desires and needs in us? Of course. Most of us get that from our parents and adults in our lives as kids. But no human is perfect. A single person cannot fill every need you have. So that leaves you with an aching hole of a need and no way to fully get it filled. So now what?

You learn how to connect with yourself so that you can get those needs met. By yourself, by others, by God.

Recognizing the needs in your heart is the first step to connecting to you. It’s the first place that’s going to get to closer to understanding what your heart wants and build trust with you. Connecting with your heart matters because you matter.

How Do You Connect With What Your Heart Wants/Needs?

So, how do you connect with what your heart wants and needs? I first want to say that our desires usually come from a core need. Core needs are, to be seen, heard, taught, loved, touched, valued, to have fun, to feel safe, to be protected, and to have food and shelter.

If those basic core needs are not getting met in relationship, by you, by God or in general, there’s going to feel like a big gap. It’s going to cause pain. It’s going to make life feel hard. You may then have a desire to be in any relationship, even unhealthy ones, because those needs are not getting met in friendship or in family. Or if you’re in a romantic relationship, you might look outside the relationship to get those needs met if they’re not being met by your partner.

Other needs can look like, needing to be able to say no, needing to have independence and space to be your full self, needing to have fun and play, needing more communication and calm conversations, needing to have time together with others where you just get to be and there is no grand expectation of you. Needing rest, needing adventure, needing to have the hard conversations and light ones too.

Wants can look like, I want to do more fun things with you, I want to have breakfast together every morning before we go our separate ways because I need connection with you. It can look like, I want to implement date nights or once a week hangouts with a friend because I need to feel safe and valued by you. Wants can look like, I want to start working out twice a week because I need stability and consistency. A need might look like, I want to workout or do new things, but I don’t want to do it alone, I need a friend or someone to do these things with to have my connection and fun needs met. Who can I ask that might want to do those things with me?

Is there a way to differentiate your heart from your mind?

How do you know when your heart is speaking and when your mind is speaking? Your heart will be more simple, direct answers. Your heart is not confused about what she wants. She knows what she needs, you just have to allow her space to tell you.

Our minds are the more complicated side. The mind holds information, facts, ideals from others we respect. Our mind wants to solve problems with logic, where as our heart want to solve problems to get our needs met in a more pure way. Our hearts know when something doesn’t sit right. They know when something feels off or wrong. Our minds however are trying to prove. They want to please others and can often try to “be right”. The mind is the often also the protector.

As you continue to practice connecting with your heart, you will get more aware of what your heart sounds like. The first few times, you’ll most likely be hearing from your mind, your thoughts and facts of what is “right and wrong”. But as you continue to create space for your heart to be seen and heard by you, your heart will talk more. You’ll build trust with her and she will start to speak even before you ask.

Connecting With Your Heart Means

Connecting with your heart means connecting with your “no”. It means connecting with the true part of yourself that wants to say yes and finds joy in what she says yes to. She won’t please to make others more comfortable. She won’t perform to get approval. Nor, will she hide herself to keep safe.

She will be fully her. Fully known, without fear, without hesitation. She will be able to hold herself with confidence and security because she knows who she is and what she’s going after. Holding herself purely and bravely, she will trust you to know her and see her. She will trust that you are safe for her.

You see, when we disconnect from our hearts, we disconnect from the truth of who we are. We were created to be living, feeling beings. Not logical, right and wrong, black and white thinking people. We were never made to be perfect. And the truth is, God loves you just the way you are, right where you are. He’s not worried about how far along you are, or how much you haven’t figured out yet. He loves you just as you are now. And my hope is that that gives you permission to love yourself as you are now too. In all the imperfect, none right, gray area, ways that you are. 🙂

Ask Your Heart

So ask your heart what she needs from you. Does she need you to slow down? Or maybe get moving and do what you said you were going to do? Maybe she needs you to be brave and ask for what you need. Or possibly she needs you to rest more and say no more often.

Connect with your heart before big moments where you know you may tend to please others or do things you don’t want to. Give your heart opportunities to speak. When someone asks you a question, pause and ask your heart, do you want to say yes to this? Or let the person know you need a little more time and you will get back to them, and then connect with your heart during that time.

The more you can connect with your hearts true desires and follow through with what shes saying she needs, the more confident you will be in trusting yourself. Building trust builds confidence. Don’t force yourself to do things you don’t want to. It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to do it all friend.

Much love,

DylanRose

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Also, If you’re looking for resources, I have a basic step-by-step guide here on how to unpack triggers and connect with your heart.

If you are wanting to learn how to process pain and want to start a healing process for yourself, I am offering one-on-one coaching sessions. These sessions will help in learning how to process pain in a healthy way that actually brings lasting change and self-confidence.

I’m also creating a course that goes into the depths of all this as well. The course will take you step-by-step in how to walk through a healing journey. You will get live group coaching calls, a community of support, and one-on-one coaching with me. Also, subscribe to my email list to get updates for when the course is launched! If you have questions about anything, please reach out! I would love to chat with you via email.

You can email me at co*****@dy************.com with any questions you might have.