Do you know how to ask for help?

I’ve struggled to ask for help, especially as an adult. I’m so used to doing it alone and figuring out hard things by myself that it’s actually been hard to accept help when it’s offered.

I remember being 18, sitting in my college professor’s office right before the huge end-of-term exam. I had avoided going into her office all semester even though I was really struggling to understand the content. And I had finally given up doing it on my own, and at the very last chance, asked for her help. She had mentioned every week, “Come into my office if you need help. These are my office hours.”

She also mentioned that nobody ever came. Yet, she would continue to tell us to come in because she could see we were all struggling. It’s interesting how many of us don’t ask for help, even when it’s being offered.

Being Taught

I remember sitting next to her as she taught me the content and tears started to well up in my eyes and stream down my cheeks. I realized that this was the first time I had ever asked for help and had someone teach me something so intently.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. All these years I’ve been thinking I had to do all the hard things on my own. I had to learn it independently and scramble through it all without anyone knowing it was hard.

I thought I could figure it all out, and no one would have to be bothered. But in that moment, I was learning just how simple and beautiful it is to have help.

This won’t change overnight

This isn’t something I suddenly mastered over the course of a few days. This is a lesson I’m still learning today. I’m still having moments where it’s hard to ask for help. Where I’m not sure who to ask, or who will be there for me. Where I realize I was in a struggle and after the fact, realized I could have asked for help.

It still doesn’t always feel easy, still isn’t always the first place I go, but I’m learning. I don’t know if there will ever be a point where I don’t need help. I think we were designed to need others around us.

If you’ve gone through most of your life isolating and struggling on your own, it’s likely going to be hard to ask for help. You might need to test it out on many people before you find the ones who will truly be there for you through every bump and curve. But let me tell you, the struggle of learning to ask for help is far more rewarding than the struggle of doing everything alone.

What areas do you struggle to ask for help?

Are you used to doing everything on your own? Or do you include people really well when you’re struggling? Is it easy for you to be vulnerable with friends and close people? What areas do you want to grow in this?

Thanks For Reading Friend

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